"I am not the only one interested in you": Memory of Ramadhan 2016
Why I returned to Singapore
Ramadhan holds a significant memory for me.
My detention without trial by ISD in 2016…where I spent 4 years and 4 months in solitary confinement…
Began on the night of 27th Ramadhan.
I had returned to Singapore for Hari Raya (Eid Fitr).
My wife, children and I left Singapore in 2002. Since then, we had not celebrated Eid in Singapore. I missed celebrating Eid with my family, friends, relatives and community.
In 2016, my mother asked me to return to Singapore for Eid. My stepdad had passed away in 2015 and she would like her family with her. I wanted it too. We planned to celebrate Eid in Singapore and Malaysia.
But I was cautious. I had heard from several friends that the PAP was ready to arrest me.
They had found their excuse.
Since 1999, I was cautioned by various contacts from Malay MPs to PERGAS leaders that the government was waiting to arrest me.
Whether it was a Malay MP telling me the ISD was planning to arrest me, Ustadz Abdillah sending me a message after his meeting with PM Goh Chok Tong that the government was waiting for me to do or say something wrong or an academic friend giving the same message from Shanmugam, I had lived with the threat of ISD arrest for more than a decade.
In 2016, I heard from several people that the PAP was going to use my picture with the shahadah flag (Read here) as an excuse. Masagos Zulkifli had said in several events that the PAP was planning to arrest me.
My friends requested that I did not return to Singapore.
My wife, Shireen, and I did istikharah. Both of us received bad signs. Shireen told me she did not think I should return.
I knew she was right but I could not.
I missed Singapore badly. Ever since I left in 2002, I wanted to be back. I was finally able to return from 2007 onwards.
But I remember how terrible it felt not being able to return to Singapore from 2002-2007.
I knew that if I did not return in 2016, then I would never be able to return. Because the excuse the PAP would use in 2016 would be the same one they would use in 2017 or 2020 or 2030.
If I did not return, then it was an admission that I would never be able to step into Singapore again.
I could not do that. I needed to be in Singapore. I missed home.
So I tried to confirm the information that I would be arrested.
I contacted former Straits Times editor Chua Lee Hoong. Lee Hoong had admitted to me previously that she used to be an ISD analyst. When I contacted ST, I found that she did not work there anymore.
I spoke with her sister, Chua Mui Hoong, a Straits Time opinion editor (Read bio here). Mui Hoong and I discussed my PhD and she suggested that I write an article for The Straits Times.
I initially wrote a theoretical piece. Mui Hoong asked me for something more concrete. Given my research was on democracy in ASEAN, I wrote an opinion piece for ST: “Duterte: Beneath tough talk, is he a potential peacemaker?” (Read article here) ST paid me $300 for the article.
Mui Hoong told me that her sister, Chua Lee Hoong had left ST. Lee Hoong had been appointed as Senior Director at the National Resilience Research Centre. She is now the Senior Director (National Security Coordination Secretariat) in the Prime Minister’s Office (Contact information here).
Mui Hoong connected us on FB.
Lee Hoong and I chatted briefly. I told Lee Hoong that I was about to complete my PhD and asked her thoughts about working in Singapore.
She suggested we discuss my plans when I was in Singapore and asked when I would be back.
I told her that I would be back around the 1st of July 2016.
And from then, Lee Hoong went quiet.
I knew all she wanted was to know if and when I would be back. Her silence after I told her the date was clear indication.
But I wanted to be back in Singapore. So I checked with another person.
When I left Singapore in 2002 (due to Yaacob Ibrahim, Ho Ching/ Lee Hsien Loong and Lee Kuan Yew’s criminal defamation claims), the Investigating Officer was ASP Goh Tat Boon.
ASP Goh had been promoted to Superintendent and was Head of the Special Investigations Section of the CID.
I called him to ask if I would be arrested if I returned.
He replied “I am not the only one interested in you”. And suddenly our connection was cut off.
I knew that the PAP and ISD were planning to take me in.
Admittedly, my return to Singapore in 2016 was driven by my passion for Singapore, for my community, wanting to celebrate Eid with family and friends and to please my mother.
I accepted the possibility that I may be interrogated. I expected interrogation for a few days to clarify the issues. I expected the ISD would be fair.
They were not.
Continued in the next article.